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How I Met Your Mother - Psychological Analysis

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How I Met Your Mother - Psychological Analysis

Stephen Chbosky — “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

One of the most interesting portrayals of how we are likely to get attracted to people who are similar to our parents is seen in How I Met Your Mother’s Season 7, episode 7 – ‘Noretta’, wherein Marshall and Lily start to see their fathers in each other.

There are many reasons why we tend to get attracted to people who may resemble our parents. When we are young, our primary caregivers are our everything. We absorb and imbibe what we see all around us. We also have certain basic needs since we are completely dependent on our caregivers. These needs are both physical and emotional in nature. Based on how these needs are met, we often develop certain patterns or attachment styles. These attachment styles then become models for how we form relationships as adults.  

An interesting thing to keep in mind is that it is not only the conditioning of a particular pattern that makes us get attached to a toxic relationship, it is also the familiarity of those kinds of relationships. This is the reason why we might be attracted to both positive and negative aspects of our parents in our relationships, just because they are more familiar to us. Change of any kind is unfamiliar; hence, we naturally do not wish to come out of a territory that is not familiar to us, good or bad.

As children, we have no control over how we will perceive our world and reality. However, as adults, we can become more aware of our unhealthy patterns and attachments and lead a better life. It is important to recognize if you seem to have an insecure attachment style as it not only improves your relationships with others, it also improves your relationship with yourself. Recognition of an unhealthy attachment can open doors to a healing journey.

 

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